I'm a huge fan, you know.

Another Year

You know what? If you love a good movie, with a good psychological twist in it and a healthy dose of melancholy ... Another Year is definitely for you. I just watched it and this is my review of it. Not gonna say anything else about it. Just watch it. Will you?

There are different kinds of jobs in the world, are there?

Do you want to know what I'm doing right now? I'm wearing red shoes and a grandma outfit. I never wear red shoes. I never wear anything red. I like this. I feel like I'm my own grandma, but less wise. And with red shoes.

I will probably be a cashier in a week or two. I can tell you this, I don't like the idea of that. Being a cashier has been my all time nightmare. And now I've given in. Did not exactly give up the work as waitress at Seidel's, but working there was an even bigger nightmare. I don't believe I've really told you much about the work there. I mean, not much with any useful content. It was a bore, terrible. My boss was (is) cocky, he was alright, but cocky. And rich. And he liked to brag about it. His mother lived above the restaurant, his awful mother. I'm sorry to say this, but she's an actual witch. When I passed my exams she kissed me thrice on the cheek, a Dutch manner of congratulating someone, along with shaking hands, (I could talk about this weird tradition for ages) and I felt completely weirded out. She's so ... witchy! With her baggy skin, bones sticking out, walking around like zombie with her filthy nearly-dead dog (he always leaves behind a trace of slime) and drinking espresso's throughout the entire day. She did make me real good lunch every day, but when I thanked her for it, or said how good it looked or how marvelous it has tasted (I like to exaggerate, you know that) she would always say something like this: "Hmmpff." Very sweet. 

I didn't really make a lot of money. I made money, a bit. But I want a lot of money. So .. yeah, money. It wasn't really there. We weren't allowed to keep tips (BOOO!) and you never knew when your day ended exactly. Could be six, could be seven or could even be eight. So, long days, hard work during summer. Boring, numbing days during winter. Sounds like hell. It was. And I hated the majority of the guests. They smelled. Smelled of arrogance. I'm not kidding. 

Well, these were some of the downsides ... were there any good things about my work at that restaurant? Yes. I could drink coffee all day, whenever I wanted. And it was good, gooood coffee. Real Italian shit. Very tasty. I learned how to be a waitress. But I think I'd always known already, I watch too many movies. (A quality I do not dislike about myself)

So, from a waitress of a luxurious restaurant to cashier at a smuffy (that word describes it best) supermarket. With a rather dirty manager. It seemed as if he undressed me with his eyes when I walked in there, handing over my perfect, way too formal "I would love to work here"-letter. But I kept my head up, chest out! Maybe I should have cut back on the "chest out". Haha, kidding. He loves me.

And I, after all, need a job. A better paid job. 

Why am I in such desperate need of a (new) job? I quit college, no Journalism for me. Like I mentioned before. Not officially, but I've made my decision. And I just don't attend classes anymore, I want to, but I'm quite the distraction for my classmates. I am a very big distraction. So, for the greater good ... I remain put, on my over-sized butt, on the couch in my house in this little town that I love ... Did I say love? I meant loathe.

I haven't really found another study yet. I don't exactly think I know what I want. And my goodness, I can't make another wrong choice, can I? I want the government to keep giving me money, so ...  yes, I need to give this some very good thinking. Something with art, that I know. Because my artistic mind got pushed to the background a bit, and it made me unhappy. SO YEAH ART IT IS BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT EXACTLY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT STUDIES THERE ARE EXACTLY. MAYBE I WANT TO GO TO AMERICA. OR SOMEWHERE ELSE. I DON'T KNOW. JE NE SAIS PAS. Oops, capslock. Kidding, I did it on purpose, for the drama. 

So, working and searching and looking out for something new, something good, something awesome. *sighs* I'm holding out for a hero. *sighs again* 

Angus & Julia stone are singing wonderful things in my ear right now.