Baby butts, Tarantino and Gilmore Girls

What? I think I might actually have a job. At least, that's very much what this whole situation looks like. I even did some working today! At a vegetable-company-thing! [The one I always said I would not work at, but since it's either this or that (points at supermarket), this is pretty good!] It was fun. Done a lot of talking and now my sister and myself are not only relatives, we're colleagues too. Yep, she works there as well. Is that fun? Well, yes it is.

I'm enjoying this idea.

Yet I feel bad. I don't know what it is. It could either be the fact that I'm in bed already, all warm and comfy and I just realized I forgot to brush my teeth or that I forgot to check my email today and thus missed an important email from a friend who wanted me to record a song in his little studio, which I didn't read in time and thus missed out on a great opportunity.
Also I completely blundered just a few hours ago. It's actually hard to explain, because it involves Twitter, dutch words and a completely awful typo that, so it seems, caused a lot of drama among some folks.
No, that last one is not at all why I feel bad. In fact, that made me feel a little better. Because it was quite funny. 't Was about me talking about how much I like the look of baby-sunglasses... but I forgot one letter and that twisted the entire meaning and all of a sudden I was walking about baby-sunbutts. It doesn't make any sense and I told myself not to explain it, yet I am doing it! RIGHT NOW.

So far I haven't really come to any conclusion. Why do I feel like shit? Maybe I don't really like the idea of having a job. Yes. Wow. I think I just found my little conclusion there! Did it all by myself. I'mma make ma momma proud [by framing this blog with a picture of my face and a baby's butt, to match the theme, and hanging it on my parents bedroom-wall. This thought is disgusting, ugh. I'll stop doing this by placing a parenthesis right here...].

I just thing the conclusion is: I need to grow up. The fuck's wrong with me. I'm scared and slightly annoyed by the fact that I'm about to be committed again. I'll have obligations again. SO WHAT. PEOPLE HAVE OBLIGATIONS. BREATHING AND BOUNTY HUNTING FOR INSTANCE. 'Bounty hunting' because I just watched Django Unchained and loved it with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. It was amazing,

and I want to thank Quentin Tarantino personally, by saying this:

Thank you, Quentin Tarantino. I hope you read this. And if you do... you need to lose weight.

Greetings,

an almost working woman who's just grown up a few seconds ago and who's been writing this blog to kill time while waiting for episode thirteen of Gilmore Girls to buffer.

FUNNY ELDERLY HOME WOMAN

Right now I'm waiting, on the couch again, for my dad to get home with stuff for the super bulky brunch we're going to have with the entire family. Waiting never seemed to take so long.
Except waiting for that funny elderly home woman to email me back, I've been waiting weeks for that now. I don't know what to do, it makes me nervous. Why do people not just stand on MY SIDE FOR A CHANGE?????????? *million question-marks and inside tears* [In case you read this, elderly home woman, call me now. Or I'll have to c(=k)a(=i)ll you.

Fortunately I can say to myself: whatever, fuck you. Laura Mvula is amazing and she made my favorite song of the month: Green Garden. It's lovely!

Ah, it's time for me to get my nervous butt of this marine-blue sofa and get the table set.

Penis.

Whoops. Did I just say that?

Bye.

Existentialism

Shit. I really want to take a shower, but this couch is way too comfortable! What is this? Who am I? WHAT am I?! WHY AM I HERE??!!?!

Today I'm the ultimate existentialist, sipping cold water from an energy-drink bottle and watching terrible tv-shows. This should be a good day.
And this is the point where I don't know what to talk about anymore. I could either just get up and take a shower and do more sitting OR I could spend the entire day sitting here ... wanting to go take a shower, but not doing it.

No, I'm going.

I'm leaving.

I'm alive.

Snowwhite and the partycake all over her dress.

Because the height of my desk I do my writing, drawing, "studying" etc. while sitting on a white bar-stool. How sophisticated is that? Very, I know.

Today is opa's birthday. And it is to be celebrated, big time. Therefore in about an hour we will be driving for 90 minutes towards "the party adress". I know already that I am way too overdressed. I even have a little theme going on. I'm throwing my own theme party. I introduce to you: Snowwhite. (This is the part where a revealing picture pops up, but I don't have a picture, nor do I feel like making one, I'm ... so ... sorry)
Yes, I am snowwhite today. Bright red lips. Bright blue dress. And a little extra 'woman', the highest heels I could find in my closet.

I'm an idiot. My sister is wearing sweatpants. Hahahahaha. Okay, I'm off to drink some more lemonade. I love lemonade. I made it with the lemons life gave me.

Hugs 'n kisses!

Django Django: Unchained

I have some bad news. One: crunches and round the clock lunges bore the shit out of me. Two: I still don't have a job. Three: I don't know.

As you all notice this is a very unstable stadium in my life. I'm an eighteen year old woman, with a brain that is just as much in shape as her body and a slightly above average foot size.
I just got a message that the people at the clothing store don't need me. Well, that's something. At least I know what I'm up to there. The elderly home hasn't been very enthusiastic, they didn't call, text or email me. Neither did I hear from anybody else.

The last days I've been having fiery discussions with myself and my parents about whether I should go back to the local supermarket or not. Only thinking of it makes me cringe. I'd rather be a snail overloaded with salt than to work there again.
I'd rather be poor and a burden to my parents than ... ugh. I'm not even going to talk about it anymore. It's out of the question.

A Fifa-playing friend of mine introduced me to Django Django (which I find really coincidental, because the name Django reminds me of that movie that is supposed to be really good), best musicians of the month. They definitely unchained something in me.

Django Django: Unchained

I want you to click this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQGTORbJgB4 I will not leave before you clicked this. It's ging to change your life and way of thinking. 

Okay, I'm going to leave anyway. I'll be finishing my book. See you around.

I love you all - Elderly home people

I don't know what to do with my life. I can't find a job and I can't find anything else. I think it's fair to say this is an official crisis.

The last couple of weeks I've been wandering around the world (my hometown and Zwollywood, that is), just marching in and out stores hoping a miracle would happen and somebody would hire me. It didn't happen.
I'm waiting for about four people to give me a call or email me. Non of them have yet, and waiting doesn't seem to be the smartest idea.

THEREFORE

I'm going to the elderly home today. "Hey elderly home person, I'm very good at cleaning, pretty chatty and I like singing. Hire me? If I had money I would give you some. But I don't. That's also the fact that I would love to become a cleaner here. Bye elderly home person! Here you go!" *throws resume on desk* *smiles blindingly* *throws hair loose* It doesn't matter what sex the elderly home person it, they're gonna be stunned anyway.

Now. I'm going to have a coffee, a nice whole-wheat sandwich and I'm gonna show them what I have.

I love you all!

Eggs boilin' & coffee pourin'

Sitting on a chair in the kitchen, right in front of the stove, waiting for the eggs to boil. I'm humming Herman Hermit's 'No Milk Today', for some funny reason, and it doesn't even suit the situation, since I'm wearing a big glass of milk.

I'm glad. The water is finally boiling. Sometimes it spatters in the fire, causing loud cracky noises and huge flames. I'm slightly scared and I want to do something about it but I won't, because I'm blogging. And there's only one thing that can come between me and my blindfolded trouble and that's time. Good ol' time. 

Ah! Cause for joy! My pot of coffee is ready to be poured in a big mug and down my throat. Actually kind of devious, isn't it? I might as well just cast it in my gullet right away. Or no, my "esophagus". What a word. 

Alright, while A-Ha is doing their thing I'm gonna make some tea for mother and sister. Toast some bread and think about Nick and Jess's kiss. 

And watch this video: http://www.vh1.com/celebrity/2013-01-30/new-girls-nick-and-jess-kiss-why-jake-johnson-never-saw-it-coming/

Hahahahahha, if you know Jake Johnson, or you know someone who knows him OR you know someone who knows someone who knows him or maybe somebody who knows his cousin ... or maybe if you ARE Jake Johnson, let me know. Because I love you. 

I'm just gonna say it. I'm in love with a fictional character and I want to believe that Jake Johnson is eggsactly the same as Nick in New Girl. So. 

Did you see what I did there? 

I was thinking about eggs. 

You figure out the rest.